An expert shares how many toys your child should have. It might surprise you
“We keep bringing home more and more toys, thinking this is the toy that will get my kid into Harvard.”
When my son was just a baby, I was completely swept up in the belief that toys could shape his future. We were sold on the idea that the right ones would make him smarter, help him walk earlier, talk sooner. So, like so many first-time parents, we bought everything. Flashy toys, talking bears, walkers with lights—we thought we were giving him the best start.
But here’s the truth: he only ever played with three or four of them consistently.
The rest? They collected dust or ended up buried under piles of other toys. And what started as excitement turned into overwhelm. Toys everywhere, overstimulation for both of us, and—if I’m being honest—irritation when I realized he didn’t even care about most of it.
Today, I see babies with tablets in their hands before they can even form full sentences. Screens handed over at just a year old, all in the name of “early learning.” And I get it—technology has its place—but I can’t help but wonder if we’re replacing curiosity with convenience.
So here’s my gentle advice: stop buying all the toys. Keep it simple. Watch what your child gravitates toward and nurture that. You’ll save your sanity, your space, and probably a whole lot of money.
Because in the end, it’s not the toy that teaches them the most—it’s the space to imagine, explore, and be.
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this may sound strange, but I still miss the toys I had when I was very small. Granted, I outgrew them, but using them is still a strong memory; if I’d had kids I could never have permitted them to play with them, they were all post WWII tin, and the edges were razor sharp. I learned about that quickly. But as I grew a bit the toys quietly disappeared, as did the Golden Books, the paper dolls, and all the other paraphenalia. My mother told me she had given the books and paper dolls to some poor little girl who didn’t have any, but I eventually understood that was her fancy way of saying she took them to the town dump. I did manage to save a few, and brought them with me when I got married. =) I realize now that she wasn’t throwing away the toys and books, she was ritually throwing me away.
(They do learn from their toys, not necessarily in the academic way, but they learn how to interact with inanimate objects, and how to share, and how to incorporate what they already have into what they get)
Oh wow, this honestly gave me chills. It’s incredible how deeply tied our childhood memories are to our toys—those little objects held so much of our imagination, joy, and even heartbreak. Thank you for sharing this. I can feel the emotion in your words, and you’re absolutely right—kids don’t just play with toys, they connect with them, learn from them, and even learn about loss through them. I’m so glad you were able to save a few pieces. That’s really special ????
I envy the adults who managed to save their favorite toys, if only to pass them on to their own kids. I think adults view ‘toys’ as forgettable but necssary expenses, and when it’s over, it’s over.
I understand this and luckily my parents have kept a lot of our toys but really artwork and projects we did when we where in elementary school.
I finally figured out what my mother was about: i had been adopted, and apparently forced on her, by her unmarried sister. The ritual of throwing away my toys was, as near as I can figure, her way of throwing ME away. Yeah, it’s weird, but it holds together….=)
I do miss the train set, though, and a marvelous jigsaw puzzle of a train called “Big Red”. I really think that whatever you give to your kids that way belongs to them, not you. and it’s their choice to save or not.